When we talk about healing from trauma, especially childhood trauma, we’re often talking about engaging in some form of inner child work.
At its core, trauma interrupts development. The experiences we couldn’t process or make sense of at the time remain stuck, not just in our memories but in our nervous systems.
EMDR therapy (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) gives us a powerful way to go back to those stuck places and offer something different: protection, validation, compassion, and the attuned care we may not have received the first time around (aka, reparenting your inner child).
This process is not about blaming parents or rehashing the past for the sake of recounting events. Instead, it involves acknowledging the emotional gaps that shaped you and learning how to fill those gaps now—with your own presence, boundaries, and care. And EMDR therapy can help you do that in a way that talk therapy alone often can’t.
Begin EMDR TherapyWhat Is Re-Parenting?
Re-parenting is the process of giving yourself the kind of nurturing and guidance you needed as a child but didn’t consistently receive. This can look like developing self-soothing tools, setting boundaries, speaking to yourself kindly, and building safety in your body. It also means learning to meet your needs rather than minimizing or ignoring them.
If you grew up in an environment where your emotions were dismissed, where you felt unsafe, or where you had to take on adult responsibilities too soon, re-parenting is a way to tend to those younger parts of you that still carry those unmet needs. And often, those parts aren’t just a metaphor—they show up in real and felt ways: as panic, shutdown, people-pleasing, or a deep fear of abandonment.
Why EMDR Therapy Is Such a Powerful Tool for Re-Parenting
EMDR therapy doesn’t just help you think differently—it helps your body feel differently. And that’s key when it comes to inner child healing. Early relational wounds live in the nervous system. They’re not just stories in your head; they’re felt experiences in your body.
EMDR helps you reprocess those experiences so they stop feeling like current danger. It also gives you the chance to introduce new, corrective emotional experiences—ones where you get to show up for yourself in ways no one could back then.
1. Accessing the Younger Parts of You
During EMDR, clients often connect with child parts of themselves that are still stuck in the overwhelm or helplessness of the original trauma. These parts may carry messages like “I’m not safe,” “I’m bad,” or “I have to handle everything on my own.”
Rather than just talking about those feelings, EMDR brings them to the surface somatically and emotionally—so we can help them shift. In this space, you can meet those child parts with a wiser, more resourced part of yourself. You get to become the person your younger self needed.
2. Updating the Beliefs That Were Formed in Trauma
Re-parenting means shifting limiting beliefs like “My needs are too much” or “I don’t matter.” These beliefs often start in childhood, especially in environments where emotional attunement was missing. EMDR therapy helps target the memories where those beliefs were formed and replace them with more accurate, compassionate truths.
Instead of trying to “logic” your way into more self-worth, EMDR helps you feel the truth of a new belief like “I am lovable and enough, just as I am.” And when that truth lands in your body—not just your mind—it becomes easier for your inner child to feel worthy and safe.
3. Creating Felt Safety in the Nervous System
Many clients with childhood trauma don’t realize how much of their adult life is shaped by a chronic feeling of not being safe. Whether it shows up as anxiety, overworking, perfectionism, or difficulty trusting others, that inner child is often still in survival mode.
Through EMDR, you’re not just revisiting painful memories—you’re also creating new internal experiences of safety, regulation, and comfort. That might mean visualizing a nurturing presence. It might mean noticing how your body softens when you say something kind to the child version of you. These experiences help your nervous system learn what it feels like to be held and supported.
Get In Touch4. Strengthening the Adult Self
Effective re-parenting requires a strong inner adult—a part of you that can observe, stay grounded, and care for the younger parts without becoming overwhelmed. EMDR therapy helps develop and reinforce that adult self.
When you revisit early wounds from the safety of the present moment, with the support of a therapist, you begin to trust that you can handle big feelings. You learn that you’re not powerless now, even if you were then. That’s what builds true self-trust and empowerment.
What It Can Look Like in Practice
In EMDR therapy, you might reprocess a memory of being ignored or punished for crying. During the session, you could begin to notice how that experience shaped a belief like “My feelings aren’t valid.” As the memory becomes less distressing, we’d install a new belief, such as “My feelings are valid and deserve care.”
Your therapist might ask: What does the child in that memory need? Can your adult self give that to them? You might imagine holding your younger self, telling them what they never got to hear, or placing them in a scene that feels safe and warm. These visualizations can have a deep emotional and physiological impact—and they’re often what clients remember most.
Re-Parenting Through EMDR Is Deep, Not Quick
It’s worth noting that this isn’t about “fixing” yourself or making the pain go away overnight. It’s about tending to your inner world with compassion, consistency, and presence. Re-parenting is a practice. And EMDR helps you stay connected to that practice by creating shifts that go beyond insight—they settle into your body and ripple out into your life.
You might notice you stop tolerating toxic relationships. You might speak up for your needs more easily. You might feel less frantic when you’re alone. These are the signs your inner child is no longer driving the bus—and your adult self is taking the wheel with love and clarity.
Healing Old Wounds
If you’re doing inner child work or know there are old wounds still running the show, EMDR therapy can help you meet those places with compassion and change. You can help those younger parts of you feel seen, soothed, and safe for the first time.
If you’d like help healing trauma and reparenting your inner child, reach out for a free 20 minute consultation.
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Emma Kobil is a trauma and couples therapist practicing online with feminist women and thoughtful couples in Colorado and Florida. Her philosophically informed therapeutic approach focuses on helping creative and perfectionist women and couples heal. Learn more about Emma, or schedule an appointment, at mindfulcounselingdenver.com.
